What is STNZ?

Sex Therapy New Zealand (STNZ) is a national referral network developed and based in Palmerston North for anyone seeking help with a wide range of sexuality related concerns: erectile or ejaculation problems, loss of interest in sex, avoiding sex, lack of closeness in a relationship, ‘falling out of love’, sexual addiction problems including internet sex, at risk sexual behaviours, atypical sexual practices, orgasm difficulties, pain during sex, questions about sexual orientation and doubts about staying in a relationship are just some of the issues handled by the service.

STNZ was the vision of sex therapy expert Robyn Salisbury (Clinical Psychologist)

How was it developed?
In response to frequently hearing clients state that they wished they’d known about sex therapy sooner, Robyn began thinking about how to raise the profile of such a service. Her earliest experiences in the field had taught her that:

• Clients tend not to raise the issue of sex in counselling.

• If the therapist began talking about sex s/he almost inevitably discovered some problems (international research suggests at least 70% of all individuals will experience a sexual problem at some stage in their life).

• If those problems were talked about they could be quite readily resolved.

• Even couples who had decided to separate would often change their mind after sex therapy.

Such successes led her to become very motivated to deal with sexual problems. Robyn was then surprised to discover that many of her colleagues didn’t share her enthusiasm with many of them not even raising the issue in their work with clients. This seemed to be related to a lack of training: many psychologists, counsellors and psychotherapists reported that the topic was not dealt with well, if at all, in their professional training.

In the last three years Robyn has developed and delivered a series of training seminars around the country. To date over 200 psychotherapists, psychologists, counsellors, doctors and specialist nurses have completed the Foundation Course.

Some professionals choose to also pursue the advanced training. Of those who complete these modules, those who pass the stringent selection criteria are chosen to receive referrals from the national referral network.

Why do New Zealanders need this service?
Our sexuality is an important part of who we are, yet most people receive little if any education in this matter. We seldom get taught how to make a relationship work- most of what we do comes from our observations of our parents- who may or may not have been good models. This results in feelings of inadequacy, inappropriate expectations, a wide range of sexual problems, relationship dissatisfaction and breakdown, infidelity, destructive sexual behaviours. Being able to fully love and be loved is a basic human need, fundamental to our wellbeing.

 Who has this service helped?
Sex is a private matter and all professionals are bound by their codes of ethics to maintain confidentiality so it isn’t appropriate or possible to tell the stories of any of the hundreds of couples and individuals who have been helped by sex therapy. General comments that are often made as people leave are “I never thought I’d say this but I’m actually glad we struck this problem because now our relationship is more intimate than it’s ever been.” and “I didn’t know I was capable of such feelings!”

Robyn believes that a fundamental human need is to find a mate to accompany us on our journey through life. STNZ is in the business of helping people achieve that goal. Such a lot can be gained by addressing sexual problems with competent professional help. So many relationships breakdown as couples drift apart from not addressing intimacy problems, leading to painful separations and often, eventually, a repeating of the problem. Although sex these days frequently features on television, in magazines etc., the messages given are often sensationalised and thus not helpful, sometimes even destructive. To make things more confusing the 21^st century has seen the medicalisation of sexuality with drugs being advertised as quick-fix solutions to sexual problems. Although most people do realize that it takes more than an erection to make good sex it has been difficult to get useful information about all the skills required. It is time for a matter-of-fact, well informed approach to eradicate the myths and help New Zealanders build lasting, satisfying intimate relationships.

STNZ Therapists