Mrs. Salisbury Column

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1. Readers are encouraged to submit questions for the Mrs Salisbury column. Please email questions to:  MrsSalisbury@sextherapy.co.nz                  

2. Mrs Salisbury Columns will be available the day after publication from 10.00am and download articles from 10.00am on the day of publication.

3.  No Down load Articles to accompany SST columns February 2012  (0.03MB) 

4. Mrs Salisbury Column, Sunday Star Times 12th February 2012

Hi Mrs Salisbury

I’m in need of help! I’m a healthy 25 year old female but my lack of appetite for sex is starting to worry me. I have never really been that interested in sex on a daily basis, and I’m content going a week or more without sex. The problem is that I’m now in a serious relationship and this is becoming an issue between us.

 Is there anything that I can take or do that can boost my libido? I’m willing to try anything to help boost it. 

 Regards

Ms D

Dear Ms D

 I wonder if you enjoy the sex you’re having. Is it for your pleasure? Do you get immersed in it, do you revel in the close connection with your partner, can you enjoy the feeling of his/her skin on yours, do you love feeling your lover inside you? Can you get aroused enough then let go enough to enjoy an orgasm? The answers to these questions may tell you more about your lack of libido. One of the commonest causes of lack of sexual desire is that the sex you are having is not desirable. Or maybe you have not yet fully claimed your sexiness. Your values, beliefs and body image will play a role here. Can you love your body as she is right now or are you critical? Do you inhabit this body, keeping physically and emotionally fit and active? What form of contraceptive do you use? If it’s pharmaceutical have you asked your GP or looked into the possibility that it may be impacting on libido?

What did your mother model for you about being sexy? Do you have her permission to enjoy sex? Keep in mind that there is right frequency for sex and libidos die off under pressure or when overridden in order to please another.

Mrs Salisbury