What Sex Therapy Involves?
Sex therapy simply involves sitting down and talking about sex with a member of our team who has the skills and experience to work with you through your sexual and intimacy concerns. There is no physical examination at all. You keep your clothes on throughout the consultation and it won't involve any touching at all.
The first consult gives you the opportunity to express the concerns you've got and for many, it is often the first opportunity they've ever had. Many report this being quite a relief as the therapist is used to talking about things in a matter of fact way and provide a non-judgemental environment.
Once a rapport has been established with your specialist you can expect to provide an overview of what's been going on or not going on, when the problem began, how things have changed, how you feel about it and what you want to achieve. There will be questions the specialist needs to ask because the specialist will want to help you to recognise what is causing and driving the problems.
Few of us are ever taught about sex and there is a lot to learn. Not only the 'how to' parts, but all the skills needed to make a sexual relationship enjoyable and lasting. For some this may involves addressing destructive sexual behaviours first.
If you're in a relationship we recommend that your partner attends too so that both perspectives can be offered.
After the first or second appointment, the specialist has a better idea of what is needed and will plan therapy aimed at showing you how to make vital changes. About this time, the specialist should be able to suggest how many appointments might be required to get you to achieve the changes you want to make. Suggesting how many sessions will be involved, assumes that you and your partner will be committed to both attending therapy sessions and to working on the issues raised in therapy between sessions and that there are no unforeseen factors that affect your ability to progress through the therapy.
In between therapy sessions you will most likely be asked to engage in homework exercise between consultations. This might include exercises to try together, talking about really meaningful topics or reading helpful books and other similar activities.
A common statement made at the end of sex therapy:
‘I never thought I would say this but I am actually glad we developed this sexual problem. I had no idea our relationship could be this good’.
KW, Palmerston North