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1.Mary I Hodson
Henry asked to front sex campaign
Should Kiwis abstain from sex during the Rugby World Cup?
Backing Black has been described as a ''tongue in cheek'' campaign which calls on All Black fans to abstain from sex during the World Cup and will be fronted by former New Zealand Sean Fitzpatrick. Backing Black is also endorsed by the NZRU as the All Blacks' official fan club.
''Very early on, the idea of including Graham Henry in this campaign was discussed with the NZRU, as Graham is a fan of the 'Abstain for the Game' concept and was keen to be involved,'' Telecom's chief marketing officer Kieren Cooney said in an emailed statement after the company took umbrage at the report that Henry did not want to be involved.
''However after discussion with the NZRU and Graham we all agreed that his focus should be only on winning rugby games, at which point we approached Sean.
''For the same reason, at no time have we approached any of the players themselves or discussed any elements of the campaign with them.''
The NZRU also emailed a statement quoting chief executive Steve Tew.
''In the early phases Graham was one of the celebrity options discussed to front the campaign," Tew said. "Graham was interested in being part of the campaign and certainly did not say it was a terrible idea, but it was agreed that for 2011 the key area of focus needed to be on preparing for the big season ahead.
''The players were not involved in discussions around the concept and theme as the campaign is about the fans and does not involve the players.
"Telecom and BB (Backing Black) are great supporters of the All Blacks and they put a lot of energy and creativity into getting fans involved."
Earlier in the day, Mark Watts, Telecom's head of external media, said the company had no comment on claims Henry was the initial choice to front the controversial campaign and that Fitzpatrick was brought in after the All Blacks coach refused.
''I think that is pure speculation. I can only talk about what I know and I know that Fitzy is the right man for the job ... all credit to Fitzy," Watts said.
Sources say Henry did not like the campaign and that senior players were aware of its controversial nature as well.
''Ted [Graham Henry] didn't want to have anything to with it. McCaw and other senior players thought it was a terrible idea and also didn't want to be a part of it,'' said the source who is from within the top-level rugby community.
Another source close to the Backing Black campaign also confirmed Henry had been approached and had rejected an invitation to front the campaign.
''An NZRU person told me Ted was offered a shitload of money to front it but refused.''
The same source said a senior NZRU official told Telecom ''this is the most stupid idea ever'' but said Telecom dug in over the proposed campaign.
The campaign - led by Telecom, one of the New Zealand Rugby Union's key sponsors - is intended to galvanise support behind the men in black as they chase their first World Cup title in 24 years.
Telecom bosses wouldn't talk about the specifics of the campaign.
Prime Minister John Key will not say whether he would follow the Rugby World Cup abstinence campaign but said it was evidence not all advertising dollars were well spent.
"I think it's meant as a light-hearted joke."
There would be a number of similar sideline issues that arose throughout the World Cup, Key said.
"The reality is when the teams turn up in New Zealand the focus is hopefully going to be on two things; a great display of ruby and showcasing New Zealand to the rest of the world."
He said he was yet to see the campaign.
Asked if he would abstain Key replied: "In good taste, I'll leave that out".
It is understood Backing Black's call for sexual abstinence will be launched nationwide on Sunday with simultaneous TV commercials to be broadcast at about 8.40pm.
A source said the advertising campaign would be ''bright and bold'' including posters, billboards and adverts emblazoned onto buses.
During the planning stage of Backing Black, ideas included posters being placed at eye level in men's urinals in bars and restaurants urging men who are urinating to ''think of your Mum in a bikini... abstain for the All Blacks''.
Advertising executives also considered placing cold showers outside popular bars to show that publicans were committed to hosing down anyone tempted to break their vow of chastity.
'NO SEX WILL STRAIN RELATIONSHIPS'
Therapists are concerned Kiwis will swap sex for a Rugby World Cup win, saying enforced abstinence could lead to extra stress.
Nearly 60 per cent of readers who voted on a Stuff.co.nz poll today said they would rather give up sex until October 23 than face another World Cup defeat.
"I find it concerning because good couple sex should be more fun that any sport," said sex therapist Mary Hodson.
"I wonder if it reflects the very busy lifestyle that couples and growing families are leading today - with little or no time for taking care of their relationship and particularly their sexual relationship."
The debate arose after news broke that one of the New Zealand Rugby Union's key sponsors, Telecom, would be launching an abstinence campaign through its fan club, Backing Black.
Former All Black captain Sean Fitzpatrick will front the campaign, which will involve wearing black rubber rings to show support.
Auckland Now understands All Blacks coach Graham Henry and senior players did not support the call to abstain, however, the NZRU and Telecom have argued that was not the case.
Hodson, who is also the regional director of Sex Therapy New Zealand, said abstaining from sex for the Rugby World Cup will put "incredible strain" on relationships.
"I have some concerns about it. I think it will affect couples negatively because the Rugby World Cup is going to be a fairly stressful time anyway. Asking to abstain from sex will just add to the stress," says Hodson.
Hodson says while Kiwi men are "well able to control themselves while sober", they might change their mind after a few drinks.
"And will they be prepared and have contraception on them to avoid STI's if they decide they don't want to abstain?" she says.
Hodson also questioned the NZRU's attitude to sex after commercial manager Paul Dalton said the campaign was about Telecom "doing something fun".
"It's interesting that he said it would be 'fun'. It makes you wonder what the attitude toward sexuality is. Sex is supposed to be fun, not abstinence," Hodson says.
However, Hodson wasn't surprised Kiwis would veto sex in favour of a win.
"My advice is, in the worst case scenario let's comfort and cheer ourselves with lots of good couple sex - we'll be needing it if we are to abstain for the entire cup period."
By 3.30pm, 58.3 per cent of respondents had voted pro-abstinence on the Stuff poll. There were a total of 9,383 votes.
- Auckland Now
Promiscuity 'damaging for women'
By Jessica Beresford and Corrie Taylor
5:30 AM Tuesday Jul 12, 2011
Emily McKenzie. Photo / Supplied
A young woman has spoken out in light of publicity portraying New Zealand women as "the most promiscuous women in the world".
Emily McKenzie, 22, is "incredibly passionate" about the issue.
"I have seen the effects of promiscuity on my peers, and I am a strong advocate against such actions," she said.
Miss McKenzie, in her fourth year studying psychology, is confident such behaviour has only negative effects on the women involved.
"What I've seen is young girls that are sleeping around to try and find love and boost their self-esteem."
Miss McKenzie said many modern women saw sex as "something to boast about".
Her stance has been backed up by sex therapist Robyn Salisbury.
Mrs Salisbury, director of Sex Therapy NZ, agreed promiscuity could be damaging psychologically.
"Certainly when people talk to me about promiscuous pasts, it's usually with regret. They are reflecting on a lack of confidence they had, or their belief that they would get love through sex or feel good about themselves."
Mrs Salisbury agreed that promiscuity had increased in her 25 years in the profession.
"It's really sad. These girls are under pressure to wear make-up and short skirts in order to feel pretty.
"It makes them seem older and then the males are treating them like they are.
It's confusing their self-identity and sets up unhealthy patterns for later in life."
By Jessica Beresford and Corrie Taylor
Man, long-lost daughter convicted of incest conspiracy
By Jared Savage
5:30 AM Saturday Nov 6, 2010
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Photo / Dean Purcell
An Auckland public official has been convicted of planning a sexual relationship with his long-lost biological daughter whom he had not seen since she was a child.
The man, 58, and his daughter, 41, jointly charged with conspiracy to commit incest, were convicted in the Auckland District Court this week.
The pair, who have permanent name suppression, met in August 2008 after the man tracked her down in Britain. She flew to New Zealand for a two-week holiday and then kept in close contact by phone, email, text and webcam. The correspondence expressed sexual attraction between the two.
Experts call this the "phenomenon of genetic sexual attraction" between parents and children who meet for the first time as adults.
The daughter left her husband and children and returned to New Zealand in October 2008 to live with her father and his family.
The daughter's husband in the UK became suspicious and hired a private investigator to tail the pair. He then laid a complaint with the New Zealand police, who laid charges in March last year of conspiracy to commit incest and committing incest.
The pair denied having sex and the more serious incest charge was later withdrawn by police.
But the case has destroyed the man's 36-year marriage and relationships with his other adult children. His occupation has been suppressed and he has been stood down for an internal inquiry. The daughter was also married, with two children.
She plans to stay here and hasn't seen her children for two years.
Weekend Herald inquiries revealed the man began searching for his daughter in the UK on a missing-persons website more than two years ago. The on-line post included photos of the daughter as a 3-year-old and photos of her grandparents.
The couple pleaded guilty to the conspiracy charge and asked Judge Lindsay Moore to discharge them without conviction.
He refused, but gave them suspended sentences, so they escape further penalty unless they commit another crime in the next year.
Judge Moore granted permanent name suppression not to protect the pair but to prevent further humiliation for the man's family.
The convictions are similar to a case in which an Auckland woman tracked down her biological father in Britain in the late 1990s.
The woman, in her late 20s and married with four children, split from her husband and the father, in his mid-40s, moved into her house. Her former husband eventually laid a complaint with police.
Her father was found guilty of incest in July last year and ordered to do 300 hours' community work, but his daughter was acquitted.
In sentencing, Judge David Wilson said this was an attraction between two adults not very different in age.
"This was a consensual relationship. The typical harms that rise from incestuous relationships were not present. You were not the father in the house raising the child."
Sex therapist Robyn Salisbury said the "phenomenon of genetic sexual attraction" was not uncommon in reunited parents and children.
Finding a biological parent and meeting them for the first time created powerful emotions.
"It's more about the sense of finding themselves in the other. The longing that can follow is such a powerful feeling. People get lost in the intensity [of being reunited]and that can translate into intimacy."
By Jared Savage | Email Jared